Well, here I am once again, it's the start of a new year and I find myself recommiting myself to lose this weight once again. For 3 and a half years I've been trying(not my hardest) to lose weight and get healthy but have not been successful. I feel like I've had hundreds of "start days" but I want this to be different. I want this to be the start of a new life. I have always been looking for the right circumstance, the right diet, the right time, the right reason but never found it. I've come to realize there will never the be the "right" time, reason, plan etc. It's is just something I have to do.
I have decided that 2010 will be the Year of Me. Too often I find myself looking after everyone around me and ignoring what is best for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends but I use them as an excuse to not do what is right for me. In order for me to be the best mother, wife and friend, I need to be happy. I need to be healthy. What good am I to those people and myself when I hate the way I look and feel, when I am not being the best person I can be. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy and I know at this stage I am the one standing in the way of my own happiness.
In addition to this being a new year, it is also the start of a new decade. And I want to start it off right. Usually when I recommit myself to losing weight, I set a plan and goals that are too big. I think secretly I am self-sabatoging myself. I set the seemingly unattainable goals in short periods of time that are essentailly impossible, so I fail. I justify the failure to myself because really, it was impossible to succeed in the first place. I will no longer think like that. It perfectly normal to try and fail, but this time I will just pick up where I left off and keep going. I will no longer write myself off and be content with living this way. I am human, I do make mistakes and it's okay! If I make a mistake and fall off the wagon to just hop right back on and not dwell on things I cannot change.
What makes this time different? I've realized the key to happiness in my life, is not to just to "lose weight" but to change the way I live. From eating healthier and excercising to becoming more organized around the home - these are just a few of the things I will do this year, and for the rest of my life. I know this journey will not be easy and I will hit my fair share of road blocks but I feel this will be the start of something amazing. I really feel ready this time to make the changes I need to be a happier and healthy me.
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